As a single mom of three, my breastfeeding journey has been full of emotional highs and lows. Each child has required a unique approach to weaning, and today, I want to share my personal experience with weaning my youngest daughter, along with breastfeeding tips and advice for other moms who might be struggling with this process.
My Oldest Child: Navigating a Challenging Weaning Process
When I had my first child, I was working an extremely demanding job. I pumped every three hours while at work to ensure he had milk, and when I came home, I nursed him. Weaning him was difficult. I cut out the daytime feedings first, then the night feedings. Let me tell you, those 3-5 days were long. He screamed, cried, and fought for his milk, but eventually, he understood that "mommy's milk" was going away. While the process was emotionally draining, we both adjusted in our own time.
My Second Child: A Smooth Transition
My second child had an entirely different experience. He was independent early on, showing little interest in breastfeeding once he started exploring the world. Weaning him was a breeze compared to my first. He was too busy jumping, playing, and enjoying life to stay attached to the breast. I barely had to work at it; he was ready long before I was.
My Daughter: Discovering New Insights
Now, I find myself weaning my daughter, and this journey has been a revelation. Unlike with my other two children, I was able to take 12 weeks of fully paid maternity leave after she was born, and I worked from home, which meant more time to bond with her. I knew I wanted to nurse her because of the health benefits I’d experienced with my other children, and breastfeeding at night was a lifesaver. It allowed me to soothe her quickly and return to sleep, something I’m not sure I could have managed as a single mom of three if I had to wake up to make bottles every few hours.
However, by the time she was 22 months old, I found myself growing tired of her being constantly attached to me. Cooking while she tried to nurse simply didn’t work. I started cutting out morning feedings first, distracting her with breakfast, activities, or freeze pops—anything that would hold her attention. But I soon realized I wasn’t addressing the root issue. The distractions were just temporary, and she still craved the comfort that breastfeeding provided.
The Emotional Challenges of Weaning
One evening, after 24 hours without nursing, I was engorged, and my daughter was demanding milk. I told her that "mommy's milk" would soon be gone, but she wasn’t ready to accept that. In her frustration, she fought, screamed, and cried. As I held her, I prayed for guidance, asking God to show me how to soothe her. What happened next surprised me.
I felt God guiding me to reassure her that I was still there with her. So, I began humming, something I hadn’t done since using Hypnobirthing techniques during labor. To my amazement, my daughter calmed down, her cries fading into silence, and she soon fell asleep. In that moment, I realized that I was showing her how to cope with change in new ways. But this didn’t mean the struggle was over. The next morning, she woke up again, asking for milk. I tried rubbing her back and reassuring her, but nothing seemed to work. Eventually, I felt God telling me to give her some milk, and when I did, she sighed with relief and snuggled into my arm.
The Deeper Connection: Understanding My Own Feelings
That night, something deeper hit me. As my daughter cried out for milk, I told her, "I won’t leave you, I’m right here," and it dawned on me that this is what God tells me every day. Her sadness, frustration, and anger mirrored the feelings I had been carrying inside. I’ve forgiven her father for not being present in her life, but the sadness and anger still linger. I see the joy my daughter brings and wish he could share in it. Yet, through all of this, God has promised me that one day she will know her father.
I began to realize that just as I was helping my daughter navigate her emotions, I was also learning to cope with mine. We were growing through this process together, finding new ways to express ourselves, seek comfort, and move forward.
The Takeaway: No One-Size-Fits-All Solution
For any moms out there currently in the process of weaning, give yourself grace. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to this journey. You can read countless articles or try different techniques—from cutting feedings to applying apple cider vinegar to your breasts—but at the end of the day, the right path is the one that works for you and your baby.
Breastfeeding and weaning are emotional, personal, and often challenging experiences. But as we help our children grow, we grow with them, finding strength in the process and learning more about ourselves along the way